The Mongol Birthday Song

Sung to the Tune of "The Volga Boatmen"

[NOTE:  I went to link to this, and it turns out that Master Ioseph’s

Domain registration has expired, as of about 12/17/14. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.]

This song is NOT copyrighted. It is Public Domain. It is quite common in the Dark Horde (SCA), and has been for some twenty or so years. These are the common Dark Horde verses.


Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Death and gloom and black despair

People dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)


Now you are the age you are

Your demise cannot be far


May the candles on your cake

burn like cities in your wake


Burn the Castle and storm the keep

Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!


May your deeds with sword and axe

equal those with sheep and yaks


Your servants steal, your wife's untrue

Your children plot to murder you


They stole your gold, your sword, your house

They stole your sheep, but not your spouse


so you're 29 again

don't tell lies to your good friend


So another year has passed

don't look now they're gaining fast!


Black Death has just struck your town

you yourself feel quite run-down


We brought linen, white as cloud

Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!


So far death you have bypassed

Don't look back it's gaining fast


I'm a leper, can't you see

Have a birthday kiss from me


Burn, then rape by firelight

Add -romance- to life tonight!


Birthdays come but once a year,

Marking time as Death draws near


Now you've lived another year,

And your death is drawing near.


Raise your cup of bitter cheer,

Make the barman eat his ear


Fear and gloom and darkness but

no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT


You're a period cook, its true

ask the beetles in the stew


Now your jail-bait days are done

let's go out and have some fun!


You must marry very soon

baby's due the next full moon


Were I sitting in your shoes

I'd go out and sing the blues


Tho you're turning 29

age to you is like fine wine


Now you've lived another year

age to you is like stale beer


Long ago your hair turned grey

now it's falling out, they say


It's your birthday never fear

You'll be dead this time next year


See the wrinkles on your face

Like the pattern of fine lace


Indigestion's what you get

From the enemies you 'et


This one lesson you must learn

FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn


While you eat your birthday stew

We will sack a town for you


Death will come before the dawn

Now's the time to party on!


People starving on the earth,

Go ahead, eat your dessert,


Rape the horses while they sleep,

See the women wail and weep


Happy Birthday!